I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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