I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
