Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
