I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
