Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
