I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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