I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
