All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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