You really coming over, don't trick.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
