I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
