Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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