I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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