By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I will die if light touches me.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
His nipple licking is glorious
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