New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
