you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
