do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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