I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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