There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
