I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
