so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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