you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
