I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize