Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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