sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
