Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm going to jail i love you
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
