is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
