i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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