he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
