If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
