I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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