And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
No I am not eating basil off your cock
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize