He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
