belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I love you.
Bad choice
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
