Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
