So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize