My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We're using joints as your birthday candles
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
