I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
