Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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