Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
