It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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