what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
