theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
