Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
