I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
