dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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