you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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