She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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