Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
