So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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