six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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