he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
