he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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