the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
