quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize