Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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