just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize