You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
