we're blogging at a bar
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
