Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
