yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
