i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
