I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
